Hi. I guess I haven’t told you enough about me, since I’ve been too addicted making or joining competitions. Just a warning, this is pretty lengthy, so I won’t really expect anyone to read this. But I’m hoping. Today I just really want to rant.
1. I’m such a privy person. I don’t touch other people’s stuff, not unless I have their permission. So I expect other people would do the same. It’s kind of ironic really, since I’m like an open book. But then I hate it when other people invade my privacy. I just go ballistic.
=> You see, I have a friend. I trusted her with my Facebook account last year. But then I was so shock to find out that she used my account to talk with her crush, when I don’t even talk to random people on FB. I was pissed off, but I let it pass. But then, just last week, she took my camera and then deleted other pictures without my permission. *sigh* But we’re okay now.
2.
I try to be independent on my own ‘cause I know that if I depend on other people, somehow they’ll end up disappointing me. So I try. I don’t like owing myself to anyone, ‘cause it makes me feel guilty. My pride won’t allow it.
3. I’m afraid of rejection. Ever since my parents divorced since I was 10, somehow I felt like I’ve been rejected. I know it’s wrong to feel that way, because I’ve been loved by my grandparents and aunts. But ever since, I felt like everyone’s going to eventually leave me, so I push them to their limits. Just to test if they’ll really leave. So before anyone goes, I feel like I have to be the one to do the rejecting first before I get hurt. Some people may not understand it, but sometimes PRIDE is all I’ve got.
3.
I told myself before that I’ll only give my kiss to my “future husband” I know it sounds stupid and oddly too optimistic… but yeah that’s me. You see, when I was younger, like in my elementary years, boys have always been trying to steal kisses from me until one day one Kuwaiti kid touched my chest. I threw a fit that I ended up in a fight. It grew so worst that my grandma had to come to school to complain about it. When I was in HS, there was an uncle of mine (my father’s cousin) who tried to do vulgar things at me (like rubbing his thing at my back); it made me even sick of myself. I was so innocent then that I didn’t even had a clue of what he was doing. Since then, I’ve been really scared of boys teasing me that kind of joke. I never told this to anybody, not even my closest friend. But I guess I want to have a clean slate.
But what I really hate about darkness and silence is facing my own monsters. I think of things and it kills me. I miss my mommy and daddy (grandparents) I miss them so much, it hurts. (They’re in Nigeria) So I cried in the darkness like I always do, and when I was better, I pretend I’m okay; which eventually I really become ok.
Bad experience shouldn’t stop us from growing,
Instead it teaches us how to handle life.
Life is beautiful.
We, mundane have short lives.
Live it the fullest.
Comments
i just wrote a massive heart felt post; and it said invalid comment - woo!
basically i said that, that post meant something to me! its basically explaining many factors of my life and you should really stay strong girl!
i know its so hard to trust people; i have a real problem with it and i hope you can over come it as i know it is such a frigging pain - thats what has ended many great things in my life so i really do hope your problems arent as bad as mine!
http://mylovelaughpeace.piczo.com/?cr=3
wow ure a really really amazing person with a really strong personality. hats off to you :)
@lovelaughpeace: wow! that must have been a bummer. lol. Anyway, Thank you for your encouragement. It really is uplifting. I hope your doing fine too.
@Khloecruise: Your such a dear! Thank you so much.
that took a lot of courage to do that. you can definitely trust us with your secrets :) i'm a lot like you, in the sense that i'm very independent too.
@allthatglittersxo: thank you! you've actually inspired me to do that.
aww most of the things there are exactly how I can describe myself too, but I could never put the words together :(
These perverts :@ lkfhg, .zdfnn,fnvmc SDlkfj !!!
I agree with allthatglittersxo :)
Just try to live everyday and do the things you love to do and don't let anyone let you down
yes. I know! thank you so much Dalal!
There are words best felt than said.
it's amazing to have someone as brave, and truthful like you on here to be inspired by. :) thank you for telling us secrets. you're beautiful, don't let anyone tell you different<3x:)
Thank you so much. That means a lot to me.